Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
