I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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