You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
