And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
my poor anus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
