we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
