she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So vagazzling was a success
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
