hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
