i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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