So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
