I hate all girls vehemently.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
