I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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