Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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