Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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