I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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