I'm really into asian looking animals
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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