i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
