just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
