i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
