Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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