The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
