I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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