I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
