Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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