The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
