it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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