you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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