I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was CRYING into my vagina
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
