eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
