white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
