is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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