your parents love me but you hate me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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