If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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