At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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