I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
