so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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