8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
time to smoke my breakfast
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Randomize
