Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
