You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
