ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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