wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
