Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
