Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
