Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
