he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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