It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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