Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
