Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
