Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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