just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
