next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
