I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
