Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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